20-Steps to Deeper  Self Love



The word love has existed since the beginning of time. To many, love has different meanings and interpretations. Regardless of love’s meaning, one thing is certain:

You cannot love anyone else unless you love yourself first.

The purpose of this post is to highlight the components of self love. Let us remember that love can also be a great healer and that it is essential in personal development growth.

Definition of Self Love

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines self love as “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

How To Attain Loving Relationships

In order  to attain love, you must first feel good about yourself. The following lists some ways in which to enhance your own self worth and thus appreciate yourself. It should be noted that when you feel good about yourself, the chances of having loving relationships are significantly improved.

1) Focus on giving not just receiving. It is amazing how opening the door for someone or buying someone a cup of coffee can make you feel good. Giving kindness and love begets love.

2) Live in the present. Living in the present can really make your life happier. Living in the past or dwelling too much about the future can become counterproductive.

3) Write down on a piece of paper all the things you have to be grateful for. Through this exercise, you will realize the many things that you have going for you. Writing it down on paper takes things to a new dimension.

4) Don’t compare your life to others. Everyone in life is handed a different set of cards. It is really how well you play the cards that matters. We each have our own strengths and weaknesses.

5) Learn to forgive others who have hurt you. Forgiving others who have hurt you can be very therapeutic. Holding grudges against others is bad and can ultimately create health problems. Free yourself up from anger and hatred.

6) Set goals for yourself. Having a purpose and meaning in your life can transform your way of thinking. Setting and completing goals, both professional and personal, can make you feel more positive about yourself.

7) Establish a healthy lifestyle. This would include a regular program of cardio exercise and a healthy food regimen. This will create a good way for your mind and body to stay in peak shape.

8) Focus on positive books, videos and audios every day to motivate yourself and put yourself in a positive state of mind. This will open your mind to being receptive to meeting new people and having broader experiences.

9) Be a good listener. What many of your friends need is someone that listens to them and gives them encouragement. Speak less and listen more.

10) Be open to new experiences. You never know what paths they may open.

11) Self Acceptance. Accept who you are. No one is  perfect.

12) Rejection does not mean you are not lovable. It is part of our life and has happened to all of us at one time or another.

13) Spend more time with positive people. Being around people that are positive and emotionally supportive is very important.Oftentimes, we are unaware of the negativity of the toxic  people around us and how much their presence can adversely impact our lives.

14) Learn to say no. Stop trying to please everyone else to the exclusion of your own needs. In life, putting your own desires and objectives first  will make your life much happier.That is not to say be selfish but realize your priorities come first. Don’d live your life around other people’s expectations.

15) Enjoy spending time alone. It is important to spend a certain amount of time alone to reinvigorate your energy and to experience the feelings of peacefulness. Learning to be your best friend is one of the benefits of spending time alone.

16) Asking questions. Asking questions in your life allows you to think and come up with solutions. Without asking questions, mankind would never have made the achievements it has made.

17) Never quit. Pursue in your endeavors. One quality above all else separates why some people are more successful in life than others. That quality is persistence. People such as Thomas Edison who discovered the light bulb and Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken demonstrated a great deal of persistence in their endeavors and ultimately became enormously successful.

18) Be optimistic. People like being with people who are positive in life. Looking for the good in life rather than the bad will allow you to lead a more productive life.

19) Take action in your life and don’t be afraid of making decisions. Making decisions in your life is both necessary and important. You won’t always have all the information you need to make informed decisions. However, don’t be afraid of making a decision, even if it turns out to be wrong  or not optimal. The important thing is that you take action and don’t procrastinate.

20) Don’t allow worrying to take the joy from your life. In many cases your imagination takes over and turns your worrying into major obstacles in your personal growth. Realize that in most cases the worries you have never happen in real life.


If you are able to integrate some of these concepts to achieve self love, you will be both more receptive and capable of experiencing a loving relationship with others.

About the author: Bob

Bob is a businessman, athlete, and entrepreneur who is passionate about helping people progress personally through better self-awareness.

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20 Steps To Deeper Self Love
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